I'm leaving Vodafone and you can too:-)
I guess when the customer's experience with a leading brand is so shit that it prompts a rebellion against the inertia, the matrix-like sucking-hose of the increasingly mandatory direct debit that feeds off you without you knowing or feeling, when it comes time for Bogey to Chesterfield the leeches you gotta figure there is a plan.
I mean Vodafone is one big-ass player and you gotta figure they've got armies of bright young things with MBAs who know how to do brand value pyramids and systems architecture layer diagrams and powerpoint builds and all sorts of voodoo of the modern telecoms executive;-) So my guess is that when the service is crap it's because some clever chap has worked out a tolerance threshold and has calculated the likely impact of churn on revenue (a bit like Ed Norton's character in Fight Club working out whether or not to issue a recall on a car model which has just crisped its passengers...) and has worked out that if you keep your shit below this threshold you make more money by ignoring and abusing your customers.
Well, it's a theory anyway...
So yeah, does the following experience back this up? You ring
| Orange | Vodafone |
|---|---|
| At the first round of automated choices, you are offered an "if you are thinking of leaving Orange" option. When you select option 4 you get put straight through to Amanda Malt. | After more than three rounds of automated menus you are offered "if you are thinking of leaving Vodafone" strangely also on option "4". When you eventually get through there is silence on the line as the unnamed operator waits for you to say something. |
| Amanda is human (both literally and metaphorically) in that she speaks your language and will listen to you. She is trained to offer sympathy, humour and conflict resolution skills in equal measures. | I never did find out the name of the person I was speaking to. |
| It took a little while, but eventually, the folk at Orange's customer dispute centre were able to satisfy both my needs as a customer and theirs as a business. We both walked away happy and no hostages got shot. | It appears (and I still struggle to believe this is true) that the sole purpose of option 4 at Vodafone is to tell the customer they can't leave for reason a, b or c or indeed to explain they may leave but must first pay an exhorbitant sum of money for the priviledge. |
Amanda isn't unique--she also works for First Direct and no doubt other businesses who have calculated a benefit in a good customer experience. As for Vodafone, well I finally beat off the inertia and posted the letter (because of course even though Vodafone is entitled to run riot with your direct debit and may at their leisure do pretty much anything they want including interrupting your service without notice the consumer--that's you and I--must give thirty days notice in snail mail) so fingers crossed I will soon be free of this particular rash.
Comments (4)
DO NOT TRY & GO FROM PREPAID TO CONTRACT!!!!
I have been with vodafone on a prepaid account and have on Monday 28th April signed a contract for a 24month plan. As this was a business account I requested to keep my original number.
Well, its now Thursday 1st May and NO ACTIVATION. These idiots are like non I've ever come across. I'm trying to run a company without a god damn mobile.
I've been physically in the dealership everyday trying to sort this out. I've been on the phone to Vodafone Hobart, Melbourne and even Egypt. They can't figure it out.
They keep saying it will be up within 24hrs.
Very poor sevice. You people at Vodafone should be ashamed.
Posted by Tired | May 1, 2008 5:58 AM
Posted on May 1, 2008 05:58
well just to start ive just been with vodafone for like less then a week costy as all fuck and well yeh calling the customer support line and well yeh after going around in circles with that dumb bitch that is all computer controled and what not that you can yell at your hearts content at and its as if she dont care finally got through but shure enough by the time i got through the office was closed but then i call telstra who i rate kinda poorly as well have support 24/7 well ill be fucked as well as soon as you start yelling at there robot lady they put you through to a reel person yay that sends them up by 65 % in my book
Posted by luke | April 25, 2008 5:35 PM
Posted on April 25, 2008 17:35
If only satellite phones were cheaper...
(Yeah I know, shuttup.)
But seriously, satellite's are expensive and for a startup they'll WANT to give you good service (or risk going belly up with billions in debt :::-)
Posted by Nate | September 19, 2007 10:02 PM
Posted on September 19, 2007 22:02
In my experience, all mobile phone providers are shit - it's just a skill picking the one that's least shit for your needs.
At the moment (and for the next 18 months) I'm giving T-Mobile £20 a month... and I'm fighting with them because they didn't turn off my voicemail when I went abroad like I asked them to, so I've ended up being charged £5 extra from people leaving me voicemails.
I won't be renewing my contract with them. Might try Orange.
Posted by Alex | September 10, 2007 12:43 AM
Posted on September 10, 2007 00:43